It is very important that you choose your consolidation lender carefully, because you will have a relationship with that lender for years to come.
Dear Valued Customer
Thank you for the late payment on your account. It's because of good customers like you that we at PlasticFantastic Credit Inc. are having one of the best years ever! We want you to know that the $39 late payment fee, plus additional accrued interest (thanks to our new punitive interest rate — our highest ever!) has had positive ramifications throughout PlasticFantastic Headquarters.
We couldn't do it without you and your willingness to consistently make late payments! Many thousands like you have made for an important trend in our industry that we couldn't be more excited about. Back in 1995, when you paid less than $20 for overcharges and late payments, fee revenues in the industry were just $8.3 billion. Our Christmas Cheer Gathering that year reflected the torpor in our industry. We shuffled around a bucket of instant apple cider, while management ran a looped PowerPoint of "Credit Challenges in the New Millennium: The Courage to Charge On."
Boy, what a difference a few years make! Our fee revenue is up more than 300% in less than a decade! At this year's gala, we provided each employee a choice of his/her own sushi bar, luxury boat, or theme-song band. Ed from accounting, who has suffered tragic carpal tunnel syndrome from counting all the money you've sent us, received a special award: Weird Al Yankovic sang a rendition of "Charge It" (dressed as Michael Jackson) just for him. It was special, and we couldn't have done it without you.
Our chief actuary, Leonard, gave a moving toast acknowledging the contributions of model customers like you, who were instrumental in turning our business around. We now charge our customers 134% more for those niggling transgressions than we did in 1994. (Those other banks — like Citibank (NYSE: C), MBNA (NYSE: KRB), and Capital One (NYSE: COF) — can't even touch penalty rates like ours. They haven't even broken 30%!)
Don't underestimate the impact your late payments made. Just 3% of credit card accounts are past due by 30 days or more each month. Yet income from penalty fees in our industry — like the ones you paid in January, September, and November — added up to a whopping $15 billion last year.
You deserve a pat on the back for helping the industry reap an all-time high of $31 billion in annual fees, cash-advance fees, balance-transfer fees and merchant fees. Add that to the $80 billion in interest charges banks made last year, and you can see why we're partying. Bob in Consumer Care (he's the third guy from the left in the company conga line pictured on the front of this card) has promised even bigger things to come, including limits on teaser rates, higher charges for access checks, and over-limit charges. We hope that our best customers — like you — find these new features irresistible.
Since you've been so amenable to our fee increases in recent years (like a rock, you didn't even flinch when that late payment in 2003 canceled out your 9.9% teaser APR or when we shortened your grace period to just 23 days!), we'd like to thank you for your patience and cooperation by giving you seven PlasticFantastic Convenience Cheques embossed with your initials. We're also upgrading your account to our prestigious Minque Card status, and giving you Fantastique Credit Insurance to try out for 30 days, absolutely free! As an added bonus we are offering our best tardy customers something extra special — pay your bill late three consecutive months and we will name an employee's scholarship account in your honor!
Consider this our gift to you, and a personal "thank you" for making our jobs at PlasticFantastic Inc. more enjoyable.
Sincerely,
Julie
Customer Care Representative
PlasticFantastic Credit Inc.
This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
Article Title : Dear Valued Customer
Comment not found for this article.
+ Consolidate Your Private or Federal Student Loans Now! (Save Thousands!!)
Up-to-date information is outdated information.
Get it up-to-the-minute from Law School Loans.
At Law School Loans, America's top law school lender, we employ some of the best financial advisers and finance journalists in the student lending industry. Be sure you're getting the most accurate data from the most trusted source, and stay up-to-the-minute on your own student loans!
Just use the RSS feed below and add this to any of the channels you use to receive blogs, podcasts, and other syndicated material.
Click here to sign up for our weekly Newswire now!
Free Ebook With All Registrations
My consolidation with Law School Loans was quick and easy. They walked me through the process, kept me updated on the status of the process and someone was always available to answer my questions. I never knew that consolidation could be so easy. Thank you Law School Loans. - Jessica S. San Diego, CA
Your Federal Benefits
If you are still in-school, you may reserve your consolidation for graduation with Law School Loans. By signing and returning your application now, you will be guaranteed the current low rates on your consolidation, and you will not have to think about your consolidation again until you enter repayment.
Within 180 days of the funding date of your Law School Loans consolidation loan, you may add additional eligible loans to your consolidation loan.
A few minutes on the phone or online could save you $600 a month or more on your student loan payments.
or Call (800) 659-8344
-CLICK HERE-to request an appointment with one of our expert loan counselors.
Free Ebook With All Registrations
